I'm Not A Hateful Person But
by Dlbn
Summary: He was a people person. He got along with everyone and tried to make everyone feel welcome. But even the nicest people have their limits that just make his blood boil.


Disclaimer: I do NOT own Loveless or anyone or anything from within it. It all belongs to Yun Kouga. I make NO money off of writing in this category.

Dedication: This fic is dedicated to Nisei for his birthday (Birthday depicted by my Nisei facebook account. Yes, I'm a dork.)

000

Now, I'm not a hateful person. Ask anyone; Nisei, Mei…anyone and everyone will tell you that I'm a pretty good guy and I give everyone a chance; whether they deserve it or not. After all, I'm the first one to give my Nisei a chance and befriend him. And he was a stubborn, rude, brash brat at the time. (He still is, but it's diluted now) however, there is and always will be one person that makes me forget my positive nature and makes my blood boil like you wouldn't believe. And just who is that person, you ask? As fate would have it, forever messing with me and making me its play thing, that person is Nisei's other half. His master, his Sacrifice, his destined partner, the psychopath to his sociopath, the fuel to his fire; Seimei Aoyagi. There's just something about the eared brat that sets me off. Maybe it's the cockiness in his words, or the reasoning behind his smirk and pout. Maybe it's his cruel callousness and utter disrespect for anyone that isn't himself or his little brother, Ritsuka. Maybe it's the blatant disregard for the safety and well being of _either_ of his Fighters (I'm not particularly fond of Agatsuma either, but Seimei should at least give him _some_ respect right?) maybe it's the 'everyone below me is unless I say so, but only my brother has the privilege of being higher or equal to me, so don't hold your breath anyway' attitude he has. It's more then likely a combination of things honestly. Now, I know Nisei is _technically_ Seimei's, but so what? To the repulsive brat, Nisei is nothing more then a toy; a tool, a plaything, a loyal dog, a slave. To Seimei, Nisei is God on Earth; the one who makes him whole, the only person he can truly be himself around and let his guard down near, his master, his puppeteer, the one to decide whether he lives or dies (technically that's Gomon Mikado; Septimal Moon's executioner of seat four and Seimei's former best friend that he betrayed, but I digress). He practically adores and worships the ground Seimei walks on, though he'd never admit that. But to me, Nisei is something else entirely. He's my best and most important friend, my confidant, my partner, my secret-keeper, my lover, my boyfriend, my true love…my everything. And so, when Nisei shows up at my doorstep-broken, bruised, and bleeding-I can't help but feel utter and complete hatred for the cat-eared nightmare. How could he let his Fighter, the only person he'd have at his side when the world around him went straight to hell, get injured to the point where even a simple task like breathing was impossible, and full of immense pain and suffering beyond anything he could ever imagine? How could he leave Nisei after an intense battle to fend for himself and all but crawl to my mother's home and suck up his pride to beg me for assistance that I'd give to him in a heartbeat? Even from the point of view of a Sacrifice, which I am, I cannot even _begin_ to comprehend. It sickens me to the core. We are meant to take half the damage in battle; to protect our Fighters with our bodies the way they protect us with their spells. We are not supposed to let them fight on their own or abandon them when they need help. I would never treat Mei, my Fighter, the way that demon spawn treats my Nisei and, I'd imagine, Soubi. He never praises him or thanks him for a job well done. He never rewards him or gives him any affection. Then again, I'd prefer if he kept his hands _off_ Nisei anyway. After all, hands that are only meant to hurt and injure, and lips and tongue that are only meant to curse and belittle can never give affection or speak praises.

000

I think the little bastard knows I dislike him. If one thing can be said for him, for it, is that he's intelligent, horrifyingly so. It frightens me to think of what he is capable of when truly angered. I make subtle hints of my animosity towards him whenever we are forced to interact. It's a method of playing it safe so he won't extract, or force Nisei to do so, his revenge on me, but enough that he knows I won't take his shit and simply don't like him. Whether it's a slight hesitation before answering him, a twitch of an eye, an agitated tone, or a well placed glare, I make it known. Especially if it's near a time I've had to patch up Nisei due to Aoyagi's carelessness. Perhaps there will come a day when I don't have to dilute how much I hate him. Perhaps it will be after one final battle, after Seimei is reminded of just how weak and alone he _really_ is, after Ritsuka refuses to join him (which we all know will happen. The boy is too kind-hearted for his own good.), after he's been defeated and is near the brink of death that he's left Nisei on one too many times, after he's about to be captured and finally punished for his misdeeds. When that day comes, maybe I will snap and tell him how I feel and _exactly_ where he can shove it.

000

For Nisei's sake, I'll back down for the time being and just let Seimei be Seimei and do whatever careless, heartless idea comes into his head next. I won't put Nisei in a position where he has to choose between us, and I'll certainly never put him in a position where Seimei is angered enough by me that he takes it out on him. I'll play nice and hold in my hatred and resist the burning urge I get to punch Aoyagi in the face the moment he opens his mouth. I'll play afraid of Seimei's wrath (though it's only about forty-five percent play at this point, since I know just what he can do and what he can make Nisei do) for now and lie down like a good boy while Seimei runs amok in both our world and the real world. That's fine, I can live with that for now, if it keeps both myself and Nisei, especially Nisei, safe and in the clear.

000

I can honestly say I'm surprised that Nisei ended up at least humoring Seimei and listening to him when he got back from America (having fled there with his tail between his legs when both of his Fighters were defeated by Moonless). I thought for sure he'd either tell Seimei to get packing and leave him alone, or he'd take him back without any hesitation. But he had actually just stood there and listened to Seimei talk and beg and try to manipulate him back. In the end, he gave into Seimei's pleading and agreed to help, but made his Sacrifice painfully aware that he was no longer a Fighter and no longer had his powers, so he wouldn't be of much use. For now, he's just an ally for Aoyagi, not his Fighter. I can live with that for now, I suppose.

000

Will there ever come a day when Seimei is finally struck down? Will there ever come a day when the rest of us don't have to live in fear of setting him off? Will there ever come a day when _both_ his Fighters (since Agatsuma already did and chose Ritsuka) told him to shove it and left him abandoned and alone (not counting the psychopaths he's working with at the moment)? Personally, I hope the answer is yes to all of the above and that it's soon. Unfortunately, Seimei is too cunning and quick-witted to fall for any sort of trap; obvious or not. The only chance we have at really seeing him fall is to break him; to leave him alone and cut him off from all of his pawns, and his brother. we need Ritsuka to finally decide that Seimei has done enough (you would think he would have given up on Seimei a long time ago, since he knew mostly everything Seimei had done in the past and saw a few things with his own eyes) and decide to join Septimal Moon in their journey to stopping Seimei. Of course, I can't expect Ritsuka to agree to kill Seimei, so he'd probably just be a prisoner that our world has to deal with for a while. The thought is unnerving that we'd have to let him live. But if he were to fall in battle, then who would say anything bad about what happened? Honestly, I think the only people that will truly miss him are Ritsuka and his mother (I know nothing of his father, but according to Seimei and Nisei, he doesn't care about his family much anyway). And even then, they'd miss the Seimei that they knew; the false Seimei that he built up to keep around them to keep their loyalty while simultaneously terrifying and tormenting the rest of us who got to see his true, darker self. It kind of makes em wonder when Seimei started this dual personality bullshit. Was he always like this? Or did it develop over time? I suppose I'll never know, and it's not like Ritsuka could tell the real from the fake; being as blinded by Seimei as he is. The rumor has it that Soubi knows everything, but that he just won't say anything because of Seimei's former hold on him. Honestly, I wonder if now that he's connected to Ritsuka as Loveless, he'll abandon any and all loyalty to the older Aoyagi and tell the truth. Nisei knows mostly everything, but Agatsuma was around at least two years prior to Nisei and Seimei even meeting, so he knows more. Besides, he probably got some further information from Minami Ritsu, the head of Septimal Moon; Seimei's former coworker and Soubi's former caretaker (he was the Sacrifice of Soubi's mother).

000

It seems I've escaped my own point and purpose and gone further into details that I should probably have not spoken of. But who's going to make me take it back? Seimei? Pft, as if that would happen. Ever. He can't _make_ em do anything. I'm not his toy, not his Fighter. I don't _have_ to listen to him. But I do have to be afraid of him. And I do have to sit idly by and watch him terrorize the life of the one I love. I can't wait for the day when I can finally step in without worrying about repercussions against Nisei or by Nisei over it. I just hope my love wises up and gets out before it's too late. He's already had one close brush with death (at the hands of Moonless, who had come to exact the Death Warrant but ended up just taking away his powers and roughing him up a bit), and definitely doesn't need another one. Most definitely, being around Seimei is what's going to get him hurt and bring him close to death once again. Someone should take that bastard down. From the inside out. The first step is getting Nisei away and out of involvement, and the second is getting Ritsuka to turn against him. Without his three most powerful allies (I'm including Agatsuma in this. I hate to say it, but he _is_ more powerful then even Nisei, and Nisei is one of the strongest Fighters in the world), Seimei is sure to crumble. Yes, his allies are pretty powerful (Bloodless and the Sacrifice of Thoughtless), but they aren't enough. Losing them will be just like losing a toy you don't care about. But to lose Ritsuka (the only person Seimei puts above him and-according to him-the only other human being alive) will certainly crush him and make him waver. Honestly, his obsession with his brother is more disturbing then anything he's ever done, but that's a story for another day.

000

Please, Nisei, wake up and realize. You're no longer a slave to Aoyagi, no longer a slave to your name (Seimei severed their bond and then cut Nisei's name out of his hand. Surely now you must see how disturbed that brat is and want to get away from him, right? Please tell me I'm not dreaming and imagining this? I'm beyond the point of anger, Nisei, I really am. Now I'm just hurt, confused, and worried. I'm truly, honestly, completely worried for you Nisei. I don't want to see anything happen to you. I don't want to see you fall to your doom because of some ridiculous notion of loyalty for someone who uses and abuses you, betrays and abandons you. I can't just stand idly by and wait, but I can't exactly interfere either. Something has to change in all of this. You're already halfway away from Seimei. Agatsuma got away, got a new Sacrifice that treats him a thousand times better then Seimei ever has or ever could. Can't you do the same? We may not be able to bind together as Fighter and Sacrifice, but at least you know I'll always be at your side and will never hurt you. Just come to me and I will keep you safe and patch up all your wounds…please, Nisei, I'm begging you with anything and everything I have inside of me to just get _away _and start a new life. Yo don't' need your powers or Seimei. You're perfect how you are, can't you see that? Whether you're a Fighter or a civilian or whatever else, you're perfect as you are. Have you killed before? Yes. Have you done unspeakable things to innocent people? Yes. But are you a bad person? _No_. You just got led down a bad path by the Devil in disguise as an angel. They say the Devil will appear to you as something you want the most, something you need the most. He'll come to you in a form meant to trick you into falling down into the pits of hell with him. And in this case, the Devil has visited you in the form of Seimei Aoyagi. A seventeen year old who's been wise beyond his years since he was born, one who is so screwed up in the head that no amount of therapy or medical treatments will be able to help save him. Please Nisei, you're my everything, and I really mean that. I don't know what I'd do without you. The way that you feel about Seimei, whether you admit it or not, is _exactly_ the way _I_ feel about _you_. So please, Nisei, listen to me and take the plunge with me. Take my hand and let me lead you from hell to your salvation. Please, Nisei, let me save you…


End file.
